I put a lot of pressure on myself to make it on my own, I was still in the closet about being bisexual, I harbored years of built-up, unresolved trauma, and I had rocky relationships with people — the worst part was I took all of that baggage with me to New York.

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Maalik Evans in front of the New York City skyline.

This caused a great deal of distress for me because I love God, but I couldn’t understand why Allah would create me, and millions of other people like me, this way if the result was us going to Jahannam (hell).

Which, looking back on my childhood now, mostly everyone in my family never showed signs of bigotry toward gay people or anyone else in “the community,” so I’m one of the lucky ones.

I never really felt welcomed by the community because of the ways people acted toward bisexuals, pansexuals or anyone else who’s fluid.